New Fathers and Baby Bonding

New Fathers From the earliest days of life a baby learns to trust, and form attachments to those who consistently and appropriately respond to their needs and cues. When fathers are able to hold, cuddle, bath, change, talk, sing and read to their baby, he learns about the ways the baby reacts to him. In turn the baby learns that their father is a person who will meet their needs. This learning, and the trust that develops, forms a bond or attachment between baby and father. The more involved a father can be with his child, the better the attachment between them will be, and the more the baby's development will benefit.


The different ways a father communicates with, holds and comforts his baby add to the baby's brain development. As babies learn to recognise their father's voice, hearing a voice they recognise can be very calming and reassuring for a baby. In the immediate period after birth babies are often very alert, and will be captivated by the people around them. This can be a special time for a father to begin his relationship with the baby by holding and talking to it.
Partner Support is also an important support and carer for a new mother. Often the father is the person who knows his partner best, and is able to predict her needs as she recovers from the birth and adjusts to her new role. Research indicates that breastfeeding is more successful when the father is committed to supporting the mother to breastfeed. The early days of parenting together are an important time for the relationship between parents as they adjust to the responsibilities and demands of having a child.

What are some of the practical ways partners could help a new mother?
Taking an active role in caring for the baby, bathing, changing, holding, singing or reading to, and comforting baby. Taking time to get to know the baby, learn about it's tired signs, ways of settling and the things that comfort it. Taking baby for a walk so that the mother can have a rest. Talking and finding ways to solve problems together. Supporting the mother's decision to breastfeed. Being aware of mother's stress and mental wellbeing, and supporting her to seek help if necessary. Indicators of post natal depression, can include being tearful and sad; unable to see the funny side of things; seems worried about not doing a good job, blaming herself if things don't go to plan; being overly worried about apparently small issues; sleeping a lot, or not sleeping well even when baby is asleep. If a father is concerned about his partner's health and wellbeing he could talk to the partner, another close family member, a friend, Midwife or Nurse and offering help can always help care for the baby.


Where can fathers get support?
Adjusting to the father role can feel overwhelming and tiring and there is a lot to learn, very quickly, so Fathers need support too. There are various ways fathers can get support. Talking with other Dads and sharing experiences. Dad's local support groups, Parenting education groups/antenatal group follow up courses, through the family doctor.


Adjusting to new roles as mums and dads adjust to the responsibilities and demands of caring for a child, their relationship moves into a new phase and may see a different side of their partner as they experience changes in their relationship with family and friends. May feel isolated from usual social networks, undergo financial reprioritisation, find that the experience may be different to the expectation, experience the reality of breastfeeding, wakeful nights and disrupted routines, experience a loss of spontaneity/freedom. Talking together before the baby is born is a good way to share each other's dreams and hopes for the baby. Talking can also help parents share the roles they envisage for themselves as parents and their ideas about parenting. Both parents can support each other by taking time to get to know the new baby and learning about its needs. Sharing the feelings and changes each notices can help parents understand each other's experience of parenting, and enable them to develop ways of being parents together.